Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

I ran into the Easter bunny today, kinda. After seeing a giant, anthropomorphic rabbit I immediately leapt from my car to greet him enthusiastically. Who wouldn't, right? I had initially assumed this must be the Easter bunny of legend. But as our conversation progressed, I began to have my doubts.
For one, he had no candy or chocolate to give to me or anyone else. He also smelled peculiar and kept trying to convince me that I should purchase flowers at the local florist which happened to be directly behind him. So I made the only logical conclusion. This was NOT the Easter bunny. This was most certainly the Easter bunny's crazy uncle Frank.

One doesn't often hear about Frank, because the Easter bunny has a great PR person and the mainstream media are in league with that most famous of bunnies, senior Easter. Luckily I do a lot of internet research. From what I can gather Frank has a sordid past. He's been to prison twice. Once for holding the tooth fairy hostage and demanding all chocolate bunnies be based on his likeness, and the second time was for tax evasion. He's extremely jealous of his famous nephew, power hungry, and a bit of a drunk. It seems like he's always working on some scheme to discredit the Easter bunny and grab the spotlight for himself. But apparently things have been a little rough for him lately and he has been forced to work as a spokesperson for Jane's Flower Emporium to help make ends meet.

Sure Frank is a pest at times. Yes, he once tried to steal the Statue of Liberty's crown and sell it on ebay. But still, everyone deserves some compassion. So I gave him a hug and told him that if he didn't have anywhere to go for Easter, he could have dinner with us. I'm sure my wife will be on board with that. I mean it's only for a couple hours. Anyway, today's lesson is two-fold. 1)Be kind to everyone regardless of their past. 2)Just because you see a giant talking rabbit does not mean it is THE Easter bunny. He's got lots of relatives and friends and such. I mean it's not like giant talking bunnies just appear out of nowhere. There's a whole colony of them hidden out there somewhere.

UPDATE: Check out this video to see the REAL Easter bunny in action:

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