Fall in Madison

I love driving in Autumn. The roadways are alive with hundreds of dancing leaves. Each one twirling and jumping in the wind trails of cars that pass them by.
And in the fields, nature's great gusts send them surfing through the grass or sailing from the trees as they leap from their safe, lifelong confines and, in their final days, taste freedom for the first time. Floating and dancing in groups as they explore the world.
In a short while their vacation will be over and the trees will be dead and bare, awaiting next year's rebirth. But for now I am reminded, every time I drive, that nothing dies so beautiful as a tree.For whatever reason, I am always reminded of who I am during Autumn. It is for me a coming home. I love the way fall smells and looks and tastes. I am at peace, I am at home whenever fall is here.

My Wife's Summer Journey

Last night, I slept on a stranger's air mattress in an apartment that is not mine, next to my wife while she waited for the hospital across the street to call and tell her that someone had died and their family needed her comforting presence. For the last 10 weeks, my wife has been interning as a hospital chaplain. Every few weeks she is on call during the night shift, offering anyone a listening ear or shoulder to cry on throughout the night and early morning. Since she must be able to respond quickly, the hospital provides an apartment to stay at while she waits. Last night that's where I was too, contemplating death and emotions.

Although I did not go with my wife on her summer journey our strong connection and understanding has giving me a wide window into her experiences. And I think she would tell you that what she has learned most about life this summer is that life is full of many steps, the last of which is natural and necessary. Death is natural and should be accepted not feared when the time is right. I guess too many people in our culture view death as a tragic event to be prevented at all costs. Most people who don't work at a hospital rarely, if ever, encounter deaths other than those of people they know or feel like they know (like celebrities). So most of our encounters with death are highly emotional and turbulent events. But when you see a stranger near the end of their life journey, it is easier to see that what matters most in life is quality not quantity.

One of my favorite pieces of advice comes from a Dylan Thomas poem, "Do not go gentle into that good night./ Rage, rage against the dying of the light." I think this is great advice for most of our journey on this earth. But as it is with all things, there is a time for rage and a time for peace. I think it might be best if we let life end in peace. Death is a difficult thing but we all must face it someday and I'd rather face it peacefully than full of fear and rage. It's been really hard listening to my wife struggle with the pain and suffering of others this summer, but I'm incredibly proud of her and very glad I could be near her on her journey. May all our lives end in peace.

Cheese-its Star Trek Uniform

At long last the wait is over! For the past four months, everyday I have gone to the mailbox with excitement in my heart and growing anticipation each day. After all those weeks spent waiting, I was beginning to fear that my T-shirt had perhaps been sent to the wrong planet and some distant Klingon was using my T-shirt to dress his combat training practice dummy.But my fears were unfounded. Last week I finally received the beautiful Star Trek T-shirt I sent away for using a cheese-its box so long ago. I'm very impressed with the quality (I was worried that it might be cheaply manufactured) and when I put it on, I feel like a noble Starfleet officer ready to save the world. I'm sure everyone has that one piece of clothing that instantly boosts their confidence. Maybe it's a little black dress that highlights your curves in just the right way or a baseball hat you've had since highschool that's been stained with tons of memories. For me, this shirt brings out all of my best emotions and gives me the feeling that I can conquer anything. Today is a good day!

New Jersey Eats

There is a curious culinary phenomenon in New Jersey and the east coast which people here call 'diners'. Diners seem to be defined by their small locations, late hours, and extremely eclectic menu. Although I'm sure there are some exceptions, these small, local restaurants have turned their nose up at the stereotypical restaurant model of drawing in customers with delicious food. Despite their inability to create delicious food, diners litter the landscape by the hundreds here. They remain so popular because people don't go to diners for the food, they go for the company.
When you're at a diner everyone there is your friend. The first diner I ever went to I felt immediately at home. A few minutes after we sat down I asked a woman who had just entered if she could take our picture. This sparked a conversation and soon the entire diner was involved. Later a gentleman came in and sat behind us with a couple already there. He had never met them, but he was instantly welcome at their booth as if he were an old family friend. I've never been anywhere as unconditionaly welcoming and friendly in my entire life.New Jersey is the diner capitol of the world. For it was here diners were born and there are still more diners in Jersey than any other state, not more diners per capita but more diners total. Fairly impressive when you realize that new Jersey is the fourth smallest state in the union. So if you're ever in New Jersey, do yourself a favor and stop into a diner. You'll be glad you did.

July 4th

How do you celebrate a place as diverse as America? What do you do to celebrate a concept as big as "freedom"?? I guess that's what makes July 4th so special to us all, we can celebrate America's independence day any way we see fit. Fireworks are probably the most popular way and for good reason. Painting on the night sky with fire and light is a poetry unlike any other. This year I was lucky enough to see our nation's largest fireworks display explode above our nation's largest city. But I also celebrated in a much less traditional way.

Macy's Fireworks Spectacular

I'm concerned that our nation is becoming too polarized. It seems to be getting easier to isolate ourselves from any differing opinions and convince ourselves that we are always right and that the opposing factions are always wrong. If you're a conservative you can watch Fox News, listen to Rush Limbuagh, and talk with your conservative friends. Or if you're a liberal you can watch MSNBC, listen to NPR and chat with your liberal friends. And you never, ever have to hear that you might be wrong.But we're all wrong sometimes, we're only human. This nation was founded on diversity and we need others to challenge us and share with us their different points of view. Or else we shall become divided and fall. This July 4th I felt it was important to spend at least a little time around people with differing viewpoints. So in addition to fireworks, I also went to an independence day "teaparty", which was a conservative political rally. I don't agree with most of what was said at the rally, but I was filled with a sense of unity and pride in the freedom of expression this great nation affords us all. If America has just one lesson to teach us, it's that we should not shy away from diversity but rather embrace it, for diversity makes us all better. United we Stand, divided we fall. So we all better embrace diversity and learn to talk with (and even learn from) people we disagree with or there is great trouble ahead.

A New Birthday Tradition??

Well tomorrow is my birthday and the day after is America's birthday. I'm not really getting any physical presents, but I'm still going to get some cool stuff. Tomorrow I'll be having a fun barbecue in the back yard and this fills me with joy. Also I'm asking my parents for money to help pay for the English as a second language certification course I'm taking in August. This is even more exciting than the barbecue because it moves me one step closer to Japan. As for myself, I've decided to make a video time capsule for the Jeff who will be around 5 years from now. Youtube must be having difficulties because after I uploaded my video I discovered the sound was out of sync. According to their "know problems" page they are currently aware of this problem and working to fix it. For now if you want to watch it, I guess you'll just have to deal with the 1970's kung fu movie feel of my time capsule.




So maybe I'll make a video time capsule every year on the eve of my birthday. I can't wait to watch this again in five years and see how differently I see myself or more accurately, my past self. Time is such a funny thing. We exist only for a moment and then change into somebody else. Our struggle is to constantly progress, to always keep changing into someone better, someone who you will make us proud and happy. Here's to the future!

Firefly (not the Joss Whedon one)

It's amazing how quickly our childhood can come rushing back to us. With the right smell or touch or movie, we can feel the beautiful innocence and wonder of our childhood wash over us for a moment. Tonight while strolling with my wife I came upon a sight I have not seen for a very long time, Fireflies. It was a very emotional experience, for the firefly is a magical creature from the mists of my younger days.

Fireflies are not easy subjects to photograph, but there are 2 here if you can find them

Fireflies buzz around with tiny bolts of lightning strapped to their tales and it seems to me that they must be mythological creatures. I love the sight of fireflies because they remind me that the world is filled with mysteries and wonder. Nature is fascinating and strange, littered with plants that eat animals, bugs that look like stars, and lizards that can run across water. What a beautiful world we all inhabit. It's so full of wonder and beauty I can't wait to pass it on to my children one day.

My town is beautiful at night.