Bucket List Accomplishment: Ohanami

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

Friday was one of the best days I've ever had.  I spent the morning with my wife cooking in the kitchen.  I love cooking with someone else, it's like a wonderful dance that ends in a delicious meal.  This time we tried out two new creations that were both very successful, wasabi deviled eggs and beef gyros.  I grew up in the south, so deviled eggs always bring me back to my childhood.  And of course the wasabi gave my comfort food a spicy punch.

Wasabi Deviled Eggs

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

Beef Gyros

Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

After our morning of culinary jazz we packed up our food and headed off on a picnic.  We drove to a park and sat below some gorgeous blooming cherry blossom trees next to a river.  We filled our afternoon by devouring our food, reading poems to each other and watching the world drift by.  Somewhere between my fifth and sixth deviled egg, my wife read to me my favorite new Shel Silverstein poem:

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,
Listen to the DON'TS
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS
The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS
Listen to the NEVER HAVES
Then listen close to me--
Anything can happen, child,
ANYTHING can be.

After I finished consuming food and poetry, I watched so many people wander around the park.  It was wonderful to see so many people out with their loved ones taking pictures.  I especially loved watching them take photos, because people stop to capture a picture are saying, 'this moment is so beautiful or wonderful that I want to return to it again and again every time I look at this photo.'  They are so in love with the moment that they want to hold on to it as long as they can and share it with others.

Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

Reading my favorite poet: Anne Morrow Lindbergh

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

After our picnic, I walked through the park and eventually ended up exploring the nation's fifth largest Cathedral.  The Cathedral was breathtaking and beautiful, but it was a completely opposite sort of beauty than the simplicity of fresh spring flowers.

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

 Copyright Jeff Howick 2011

After we returned home I checked my e-mail to discover news that I've been waiting much of my life to hear: I had been accepted into the JET Program to teach English in Japan!  I can't describe my excitement other than to say it was too much to feel all at once.  It was a bit like graduating high school and a bit like winning the lottery. (or I imagine it's like that, I've never actually won the lottery)  I've been working towards this goal for a long time, and now that it's finally here I'm relieved, shocked, excited, nervous but mostly full of joy.  It was about as close to perfect as a day can get.

A New Birthday Tradition??

Well tomorrow is my birthday and the day after is America's birthday. I'm not really getting any physical presents, but I'm still going to get some cool stuff. Tomorrow I'll be having a fun barbecue in the back yard and this fills me with joy. Also I'm asking my parents for money to help pay for the English as a second language certification course I'm taking in August. This is even more exciting than the barbecue because it moves me one step closer to Japan. As for myself, I've decided to make a video time capsule for the Jeff who will be around 5 years from now. Youtube must be having difficulties because after I uploaded my video I discovered the sound was out of sync. According to their "know problems" page they are currently aware of this problem and working to fix it. For now if you want to watch it, I guess you'll just have to deal with the 1970's kung fu movie feel of my time capsule.




So maybe I'll make a video time capsule every year on the eve of my birthday. I can't wait to watch this again in five years and see how differently I see myself or more accurately, my past self. Time is such a funny thing. We exist only for a moment and then change into somebody else. Our struggle is to constantly progress, to always keep changing into someone better, someone who you will make us proud and happy. Here's to the future!

Firefly (not the Joss Whedon one)

It's amazing how quickly our childhood can come rushing back to us. With the right smell or touch or movie, we can feel the beautiful innocence and wonder of our childhood wash over us for a moment. Tonight while strolling with my wife I came upon a sight I have not seen for a very long time, Fireflies. It was a very emotional experience, for the firefly is a magical creature from the mists of my younger days.

Fireflies are not easy subjects to photograph, but there are 2 here if you can find them

Fireflies buzz around with tiny bolts of lightning strapped to their tales and it seems to me that they must be mythological creatures. I love the sight of fireflies because they remind me that the world is filled with mysteries and wonder. Nature is fascinating and strange, littered with plants that eat animals, bugs that look like stars, and lizards that can run across water. What a beautiful world we all inhabit. It's so full of wonder and beauty I can't wait to pass it on to my children one day.

My town is beautiful at night.

The Beach

It's tough for me to admit when I'm wrong, but I do my best to be honest. So I'm just gonna say it: I went to the beach last weekend and had a great time. I know this seems like a simple admission, not deserving of the angst it has caused me. But I've been committed to disliking the beach for several years now, it's become part of my identity and enjoying the beach means changing who I am.I have plenty of reasons to dislike the beach. I'm pale and don't get along with Ultra Violet rays, I had an unfortunate incident involving a jellyfish stinger and my crotch, I drank some salt water once and threw up, and like everyone else when I visit the beach sand gets stuck everywhere. Despite my past misadventures at the beach, I had a great day Saturday. The combination of pleasures was nearly perfect: Friends, food, and childlike play surrounded by scenic beauty and joyful crowds. I went swimming, became one with nature when I buried myself in the sand, and had some amazing seafood from a nearby seafood festival. It opened a new chapter in my life; a new love affair has begun. I'm looking forward to my next trip to the Jersey shore where I'm sure to discover more joy.

making amends with the beach

Cutting Back

When I started this blog 77 days ago I made the decision to write a post every single day. I started a blog to help hold me accountable for taking pictures daily and to see if I would enjoy writing publicly. I no longer need this blog to help remind me to take pictures. I carry my camera with me everywhere and almost always find something picture worthy in my day.
I do enjoy writing this blog, but I've found with increasing frequency that there are sometimes other activities I must sacrifice or forgo in order to post an entry for a given day. So I've decided that I would be happier posting less frequently, probably once or twice a week. I hope this isn't too disappointing to my dozens of "fans", but as usual I must follow my heart. I've really enjoyed this experience/experiment but for now my heart and mind are asking me to focus on other activities like talking with my wife or writing Star Trek stories or volunteering. So if you're interested, check in next week and see if I've received my Star Trek uniform from Cheese-its yet.

H1N1 Swine Flu??

This morning I woke up sick. I shouldn't have been surprised because last night I also went to bed sick. I dislike being sick because it feels terrible, but also because it tends to hamper my freedom and scuttle my plans. But even though I was pretty busy trying not to fall out of bed today, I also tried to keep some of my daily goals. I tried to learn something today, I studied Japanese, and here I am writing this post.
What was I able to learn in my weakened state? For one, I learned that I really should type up a few extra blog posts to have on hand in case I get sick or don't feel inspired or go somewhere without internet like rural Tanzania. I also learned that I have an amazingly supportive and loving wife. This is a lesson I learn over and over, and I never tire of discovering new ways to fall in love with my wife. And with that, I think I'll go collapse in bed.

highs and lows

Communication is the key to maintaining any relationship. Whether it's your work, your wife, or your giant Wookiee first mate, if you want your relationships to be healthy you must communicate openly. But even if you speak the same language, communication can be difficult. It requires occasionally being wrong, listening to others speak without simultaneously formulating a counter-argument, and paying attention to details that don't involve Batman or Mr. Spock.

Life is blurry

My wife and I are constantly trying to improve our communication, sometimes it's easy and sometimes not. One of our main differences seems to be that she likes to talk about problems and I like to solve problems, both fairly typical responses for our genders. Being aware of this difference helps us understand what the other person wants out of a conversation.

Communication works like windshield wipers

My wife and I have several activities and games designed to help us communicate and stay connected, but my favorite is called "Highs and Lows". At the end of each day we like to share the best and the worst thing that happened to us during the day. It's a great way to get right down to the most interesting details and many times my wife's highs or lows have surprised me. No matter how well you know someone there's always more to discover, even about yourself. Communicate openly with those in your life and you will learn a lot.

Apartment Puddle

I stepped in a puddle walking barefoot through my apartment today and for a moment I thought my wife had flooded our place again. As it turns out, her camelback had merely fallen over and emptied most of it's contents onto the floor.It may sound funny, but our flooded apartment is one of the reasons I love my wife. She makes life unpredictable and hilarious, just the way I love it. If I can't come home to occasionally discover that my wife started to fill the sink for dishes and then accidentally locked herself out of our apartment with the water still pouring, then I don't want to come home. Life is suppose to be crazy, and in my experience things usually end well. In this case my wife ran to the campus police who let her back into the apartment just as water was starting to pour out from under the door, and after mopping up all that water we had a very clean floor! All I really want out of life is a little bit of craziness and some fun stories and my wife gives me both.

I miss pets

I love my life and I am pleased with the decisions I have made which have lead me to where I am. But my life isn't perfect, as I strongly suspect no one's ever will be, and ever so occasionally I am reminded of the negative consequences I must accept as a result of my grand life desires. I love traveling, I must be free to take spontaneous trips, and in two years I'll be moving to Japan. Being free to travel and explore gives me much joy, but it also has plenty of negative side effects.
Owning a dog or a cat is a wonderful experience. But along with the great fun a pet can bring also comes responsibility. It's much more difficult to decide on a Friday that you're leaving town for the weekend if you have a living creature that relies on you for survival. Even if our apartment complex allowed us to own pets, I think it would be irresponsible to get a cat or dog knowing we'll have to place that responsibility on someone else in two years when we leave the country. I know I can't have a pet, but that doesn't make my desire any less powerful. What do you do when you want something you can't have? My wife seems to live vicariously through pet owners who post videos on Youtube and by petting every dog she ever sees. I've been trying to let go of my desire, but letting go is often a very difficult task indeed.

Life's simple pleasures

Every so often I find a new reason to fall in love with my wife. Recently she has been filling the house with sounds of pure joy. Her new found source of laughter and joy? Videos of other people's cats. Yes, apparently thousands of people record their cats doing crazy, silly, cute activities for millions of people to marvel, laugh, and thrill to on Youtube.
She seems to have been captivated in particular by the adventures of a Japanese cat named Maru. My wife's love of life's most simple pleasures, like the silliness of cats, assures me that our life will never be boring. I adore my wife's childlike joy as she watches other people's cats. The world is FULL of beauty if we just look around us, especially at cats. I've attached a link to a video of Maru in case you want to join my wife in her fun.

2 Year Wedding Anniversary

It seems that one of my personality quirks is a deep, unexplainable love for traditions. I love watching Christmas Vacation every Christmas, eating a bowl of chili on the first snow day of the year, and watching fireworks on the Fourth of July. Today happens to be the two year anniversary of my wedding. I've officially survived two years of marriage and here in the house of Howicks we have an anniversary tradition. Each year on May 26th my wife and I take a series of photo booth pictures in front of our door. Have a look.

Fleet Week in New York City

This week a few thousand brave Navy men and women took a brief respite from defending our nation and descended upon the busy streets of New York City. Every year, Fleet Week not only allows sailors to explore the landmarks and people of New York, but in exchange the military gives the general public a chance to tour their boats and get a brief view of life as a navy sailor.

aboard the USS Iwo Jima

While aboard a Navy aircraft carrier which was much larger than I had expected, my wife felt like she was in a different world. The life of a Navy sailor is very different than the life we lead. Touring the navy ship felt like that brief moment when you forget yourself while reading a book or watching a movie and feel as if you're an elf or superhero in a strange world. St. Augustine believed that, "the world is a book, and those who do not travel, read only a page."
I agree with him, but I also believe there are many ways to travel. There is more to travel than physically exploring new places and seeing new sights. We can briefly travel to a new culture by eating its food. Or we can travel to space with a good sci-fi movie like Star Trek. Especially in this economy, we might not all be able to travel to foreign lands, but there are still ways to explore new places and people without leaving your city. This week I was lucky and the Navy came to me, giving me an opportunity to live just a moment as a sailor and explore the seven seas.

Learning from others

I learned how to solve a Rubik's Cube today. I've always had a desire to learn how they work and I recently discovered that my Dad could teach me.
Rubik's Cubes are strange cultural icons. Many see them as tests of IQ or measuring sticks of genius. Like most puzzles they do require logic and a willingness to concentrate. But I see them less as a test of IQ and more as personality test. Do you get frustrated and give up? Do you turn to the internet for help? It seems my wife cares little for solving the cube but she does enjoy the attempt. She seems uninterested in help, I'm not sure if this is because she is stubborn or because she is only interested in a journey of self discovery. My dad and sister on the other hand have turned it into a competition, battling to solve it the fastest. As for me, solving a Rubik's cube was something I wanted to experience and explore. I often try to learn as much as I can from others, rather than re-invent the wheel, so I learned from my father. It's fun and relaxing and leaves me with a sense of accomplishment, and I'll probably continue to practice because every time is a little different. I think puzzles are good for the mind and they might just help you learn a new approach to life.

A Star Trek Movie Review.

GO! Go Now! Go tomorrow and go the next day. Go see Star Trek as fast and a frequently as you can. It is the single greatest movie I have seen in my entire life. In the interest of full disclosure, I should mention I'm a lifelong "Trekkie", former Starfleet costume contest winner, and perhaps a little biased. But if you love action, comedy, drama, romance, green women, or life then you will enjoy this movie.

Mr. Abrams has given hardcore fans everything they could ask for in a Star Trek movie, yet done so in such an accessible manner that even someone who's never heard of Klingons can enjoy this movie. If I were a polygamist, this movie would be my second wife. An example of perfect pacing, the action is non-stop, the laughs are non-stop, and the sense of adventure and joy is so concentrated that it explodes from the screen to fill the audience with wonder. You will fall in love with Captain Kirk and his unfailing belief that all problems can be solved by man. Spock will help remind you how lucky we are to feel life's kaleidoscope of emotions, and Scotty will make you laugh till the movie ends. I walked away from the theater with the sincere knowledge that our future is just as bright and exciting as the universe of Star Trek. And I must do my part to make that reality happen, lest I disappoint the great James Tiberius Kirk. This movie will inspire you to approach life more Boldly, please go see it.

And Packing is Half the Battle

Packing a suitcase is a unique experience. A true ritual of adventure, it's like a rain dance that summons trips to far away places. I love the feeling of excitement and untapped potential that rushes through my veins as I hear the familiar rip of a suitcase zipper. Sometimes I think about packing a suitcase just to see where it will take me.Packing is also an art form. The ability to masterfully pack every square inch of a suitcase with perfect precision seems to be mostly genetic. My wife is certainly a master packer. Sometimes I think she could even out pack Mary Poppins and that magical bag of hers. As you can probably guess, I'll be taking a trip soon and I am filled with anticipation. It's one of my favorite emotions, and a huge part of why i love adventures and travel. Anticipation is almost as much fun as the actual adventure, and nothing builds anticipation like packing a suitcase. I can feel adventure on the horizon and as I pack I must precisely anticipate what I'll need for my journey. Will I need my ninja headband? Which games should I bring? Is there room to bring my Japanese flash cards? These questions cannot be taken lightly as they will most certainly have a huge impact on the quest I am about to take. Packing is an exercise that requires excellent skills of anticipation and analyzation, superhuman spacial planning, and a little bit of luck. There's no better way to begin an adventure than with a good bit of packing.

Learning Japanese

Japanese is a ridiculously difficult language to learn. According to a survey of its diplomats, the British government reports Japanese as the second hardest language to learn, behind Hungarian. Although I read this on Wikipedia and didn't fact check it, so take it with a grain of salt. One thing is sure, learning Japanese is no cake walk.Why do I love learning Japanese so much? Is it because I love a challenge? Maybe. Perhaps I like encountering something foreign and exotic. It's certainly not because I've seen any immediate usefulness from being able to speak Japanese. I'll probably never fully understand why I love Japanese. So much of what we love is fundamentally unexplainable. Why is a sunset beautiful?
Beauty, love, and fascination are ultimately beyond logic and understanding. That doesn't mean we shouldn't examine our loves and fascinations. But more important than examining your loves, is pursuing your loves. Despite causing me many headaches and being virtually useless, I have pursued Japanese for several years and I'm now sharing that passion with my wife. That is why most of our house is now labeled in Japanese. There is nothing greater than pursuing your love, and it will pay off. In my case, I'll be living in Japan in a few years and speaking the language will make many things much easier. But even if I were never to go to Japan, the pursuit alone has brought me enough joy.

Where is Home?

Today, while I was buying a cheeseburger to help strengthen my wife's sanity, I heard a whisper from home. It was a confusing whisper, because I didn't know from where it had come. But didn't I just say that it came from home? Well, I don't know where my home is.
No, I'm not suffering from a bout of short term amnesia, this time. For me, home is a feeling of safety and joy. Home is eternally linked with the good ole days. But I've lived so many places and had so many fond memories I no longer know where to call my home. Is my home in Texas where I was born, or Oklahoma & Louisiana where I spent most of my formative childhood years? Perhaps it is in Arizona where I've lived longer than anywhere else or in California where I fell in love twice, met my wife, and got married.
Whenever someone asks me where I'm from, I don't have an answer. I don't have a home, I have many homes. Home is no longer a place for me, it is a feeling I take with me wherever I go. Where do you call home? What are the qualifications of home for you? Let me know if you have the time.

Even Introverts Need Somebody

As a younger man I wasn't always sure I needed other people deeply involved in my life. I find my voice not from social interaction, but rather from quiet reflection. I enjoy being alone and entertain myself well enough as to never be lonely. So why would I need someone else nearly constantly at my side? But after being married almost 2 years I find that I do function much better as a team rather than alone.
When others are deeply involved in my life they usually hold me accountable to my goals. But when I'm alone I have a tendency to procrastinate and ignore my goals in favor of play. I have a very STRONG urge to play. Yet when I have someone constantly involved in my life, it's much more difficult to hide lack of self improvement.
I need others who are deeply involved in my life. Whether it's through church or meetup.com or friends I meet on campus, it is others who give me a reason to be a better conversationalist or game player or keep my floor clean. My wife has been a constant source of inspiration, a partner who holds me accountable to myself, and the perfect excuse to go on adventures. I truly am a much better person now than I was before I met her. And while much of that improvement has come from hard work and determination on my side, she was certainly the initial reactionary agent and continuing source of motivation. Thank you my dear, I love you deeply.

Life's Passions

I always thought graveyards were creepy & depressing and I have generally tried to avoid them. But yesterday in my wanderings I ended up in a graveyard of nuns. Standing there, surrounded by hundreds of former Sisters of Charity I felt an incredible sense of hope and peace.My wife has always been fascinated by graveyards. She has long tried to share this interest with me and has pushed me to explore beyond my comfort zone, and I am grateful she did. Yesterday surrounded by hundreds of monuments dedicated to those who lived a lifetime of service and love I had a beautiful and glorious moment.

I have shared many of my passions with her as well. And though she was originally skeptical about the values of cylon warriors and Bruce Wayne's troubled childhood, she too has embraced many of my passions and come to appreciate the great diversity of joys life holds. It feels great to share your passions with others and to explore their passion with them. If you love something, don't keep it to yourself, share it with others.

And the Winner is....

Well, it's been two weeks and the results are in! The great and wise internet (although I am starting to considerably doubt the latter) has spoken and decided to reward my wife with a day at the spa. In fact, two-thirds of voters thought that a day at the spa would be the best way to spend our gift certificate.
But there is a snag in the plan. After admittedly voting for herself in the poll, my wife has changed her mind and turned down her prize! What do you do when the winner refuses to accept the prize and chooses to exercise her own will over the wishes of anonymous internet voters!?! Is there some way to give her a day at the spa without her knowing? Can I hire a ninja to secretly give her a pedicure while she's not looking? I'll have to put some serious thought into this before deciding on a course of action.

So what have I learned from this experience? For one, my wife is unpredictable and kind hearted. Although I didn't so much as learn that as much as I was reminded. I've also learned that internet polls almost NEVER go the way one wants them to go. Just ask NASA. I guess one of the true joys of the internet comes from voting in anonymous polls for the poll creator's least favorite outcome. Life needs a little mischief.